Focusing on G-d

This will be my first Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur I celebrate and observe. Before my decision to convert, I looked forward to these holidays simply because alternate side of the street parking rules were suspended. Now I'm looking for a Shule to spend the holidays in.

I went to meet with "my Rabbi" today and someone forgot to mention that wearing shorts isn't appropriate attire to meet with a man of G-d. Being a G.O.Y, trying to convert comes with certain faux pas that Jewish friends neglect to inform you about.


Last week, I was judging people for converting for LOVE, but now I can understand why they do it and the benefits. Going through this alone is so difficult on so many levels.

While looking for a Shule to celebrate these two very important Holidays, I realized how alone I am in this process. Yes I have Jewish friends and a Jewish "boyfriend", but no one to guide me through this journey. But as someone near and dear to my heart reminded me that I should be SEEKING Hashem's guidance for "man" will only mislead you or misdirect you.  So I'm putting my hopes, concerns and worries to G-d knowing he is with me during my journey.

You have to learn a foreign language, HEBREW, and if Hebrew isn't difficult enough, some Jews add Yiddish to the mix.

Then comes KOSHER - boy this is really difficult.  I remember thinking Kosher was NO PORK and meat blessed by a Rabbi, never thinking about the meat and diary issue, fasting and other complicated rules that have to be followed.

And now, Holidays alone with Hebrew, Yiddish, and Kosher meals. What did I get myself into?

This journey has changed me in some many ways. I face many obstacles daily and I cry nightly, but the one thing I'm sure of is that this is where I belong.

I can't wait to talk to G-d again because right now I'm at a stand still and I don't know or understand the Jewish G-d speaking procedure.